This morning, I awoke to the sound of gentle knocking on my door. The previous day had taken every ounce of me that dawn found me
contending with the decision as to whether I should wake or not. My thoughts were interrupted with the insignificant tapping on my door that burst into my morning reflections. I opened the door to the sullen face of my dear friend, it seemed like eternity my mind raking with reasons for the change in her demeanor. With blurriness in my eyes i watched my friend perched against the wall as
she mustered a mouse-like voice saying her world was closing in.
Without warning the room turned cold with an intense tangible despair that slowly began to cling on the walls of my little abode. Deep in a crevice somewhere in my heart, my
intuition told me what was coming. See, my friend had unknowingly embarked on a
journey that no one could ever have prepared for, she wasn't loaded for bear, her personality being the weakest constitution of all. She was of the most delicate nature. She laughed with
ease from the depths of her soul. Her smile stirred up endearment in any and
everyone she met completely without intent. I had come to love her warmth, gentle and peaceful spirit. She was the kind of person you felt safe with, more like at peace actually.
So in many ways this journey wasn’t for her. It was for the strong willed and those who did not let their emotions get in the way as they
walked through life never minting to leave a mark. The path that she had veered into was for the heartless, those who loved without loving and held hands only
with their hands. It was a journey for those who hugged and kissed with their
hearts a zillion miles away. It was one characterized with the lack of empathy
if at all there were such people.
My friend had the capacity to love even when it was
impossible to do. More than often I thought her heart was too friable for this
world, but she was in this world and somehow she’d make it. So without intent
and supposing that this could be the one time she walked a journey without her
heart, she was painfully wrong....she lost her way! She still lived life the same, loved, cared and gave of herself every single time persuading herself it was just her hands and
not her heart involved. Ironically, this was the one time my friend had truly
loved.
For the rest of the world that morning was bright, full of
promise but for the two of us it was the realization of an encounter we’d had
with oblivion as we masked away from the principle of reality. We knew this
journey too well to know it would succumb to ennui. Regardless of this truth, we chose to enjoy the light this journey had brought, no matter how dim.
She, still perched against the wall and I lost in thought,
with tears running down our faces stood still in time as the rest of
the world got on with it.........
Phoebe
