Reality Principle

This morning, I awoke to the sound of  gentle knocking on my door. The previous day had taken every ounce of me that dawn found me
contending with the decision as to whether I should wake or not. My thoughts were interrupted with the insignificant tapping on my door that burst into my morning reflections. I opened the door to the sullen face of my dear friend, it seemed like eternity my mind raking with reasons for the change in her demeanor. With blurriness in my eyes i watched my friend perched against the wall as
she mustered a mouse-like voice saying her world was closing in.

Without warning the room turned cold with an intense tangible despair that slowly began to cling on the walls of my little abode. Deep in a crevice somewhere in my heart, my
intuition told me what was coming. See, my friend had unknowingly embarked on a
journey that no one could ever have prepared for, she wasn't loaded for bear, her personality being the weakest constitution of all. She was of the most delicate nature. She laughed with
ease from the depths of her soul. Her smile stirred up endearment in any and
everyone she met completely without intent. I had come to love her warmth, gentle and peaceful spirit. She was the kind of person you felt safe with, more like at peace actually.

So in many ways this journey wasn’t for her. It was for the strong willed and those who did not let their emotions get in the way as they
walked through life never minting to leave a mark. The path that she had veered into was for the heartless, those who loved without loving and held hands only
with their hands. It was a journey for those who hugged and kissed with their
hearts a zillion miles away. It was one characterized with the lack of empathy
if at all there were such people.

My friend had the capacity to love even when it was
impossible to do. More than often I thought her heart was too friable for this
world, but she was in this world and somehow she’d make it. So without intent
and supposing that this could be the one time she walked a journey without her
heart, she was painfully wrong....she lost her way! She still lived life the same, loved, cared and gave of herself every single time persuading herself it was just her hands and
not her heart involved. Ironically, this was the one time my friend had truly
loved.

For the rest of the world that morning was bright, full of
promise but for the two of us it was the realization of an encounter we’d had
with oblivion as we masked away from the principle of reality. We knew this
journey too well to know it would succumb to ennui. Regardless of this truth, we chose to enjoy the light this journey had brought, no matter how dim.

She, still perched against the wall and I lost in thought,
with tears running down our faces stood still in time as the rest of
the world got on with it.........

Phoebe

Delicate Flower

A discovery had recently been made...she believed that I had a way with words. She claimed I would play with words.... So I decided to see how I could have my way with a few words.

So I took the dare to to compress a complex, intricate , beautiful woman in a few simple words. So I sort of went back and forth banging my head against the wall, in a bid to awaken the complex vocabulary from the corners of my memory. See my task was to use the alphabet to describe a woman the dictionary couldn't.

That's because the lady I had to write about was a masterpiece of God's very detailed handiwork. How can anyone put the creator's actions in a few words. It had taken me a while to appreciate the imprudent extravagance God had taken in creating her. The human eye has the default defect of always missing the vital and I had definitely fallen prey to this.

In its stead I saw what my eyes wanted to see - I cannot deny the fact that she was beautiful. From her complexion to all those fine curvy details, she oozed perfection. Her eyes lit her very shy beautiful smile. You had to fall in love with her.....and I must say many did.

Wait!!!!! I drifted , I so badly wanted to tell you about what the eyes didn't always see....
She had a heart of gold, I know gold fades but hers didn't. Her heart was like the bubbling springs that gave and gave and gave and then gave....everything it could.

She was as complex seen as she was unseen. She was just like the rest of us finding her way but boy did she do her best....
She did find her way and while she was finding her way, I found her.

The Heart Leid <3

I'm certain you've heard the phrase 'the heart speaks its own language'. Well, I'd never really given two hoots to the claim. Clearly, I'm a victim of taking numerous things for granted and this was one of them... Only until it started to make sense.

You see, for as long as I could put a few meaningful words together in a comprehensible language, for me the work was done. Words had gone forth and carried meaning.

Yet really...language is as compelling as the force that creates life and life itself. Language bursts with meaning,thrill, passion, sensation, colour, language is a muse, it is divinity made tangible. Language is humanity.

So when I fell upon the phrase ' the heart speaks it's own leid' it still didn't strike a code. The heart? Language? Was it referring to diction,action or thought? Then it hit me - the heart really does have its own way, expressed not exactly in words but rather in its beliefs and convictions. Almost like a river whose course cannot be defined.

Now let me be as candid as I possibly can with you. I had imagined that in some perpetual space originated and existed the commonality of the heart language - and well some might agree. However, with such undeniable spurts I wholly refute, each heart has it's own leid.

Take my heart as a clear example *laughs*  it has a language no one will ever fully grasp. It has loved, felt, sang, dreamt, spoken and inspired the most unique of diction and sound. It has loved out of normalcy, dreamt out of limitation. It has upheld the lowliest and loved the forbidden..

The language of my heart is a million miles away from the language of my head. How appropriate..... How so.appropriate......

Because if my heart and head spoke the same tongue , felt the same acuteness and clarity....I never would have known the beauty of loving the forbidden.

Phoebe

Unexpected Turns

So not too long ago my dear friend asked to meet so we could have a proper face time. It dawned on me that it had to be important, I'll let you in on a secret:-) my friend is an expert at relating stories with every single detail falling in the right place and following a sort of regimented time pattern. In out circles she is referred to as the muse story teller. She has the dexterity to stir up anyone's aptitude to tell their own story.

All was set as we sat in the freshly mowed lawn clouded with such serenity one couldn't help feeling impeccably safe. For ages my friend had possessed and upheld an irreproachable  reputation that for many of us who knew her believed it was as solid as rock.
I had in me the characteristic folly of always looking relishingly at everyone else around......conjuring up some form of admiration apart from myself. This is exactly how I perceived my friend. I knew deep down that what she was about to say would rock my world from points I couldn't fathom.

Over the years, I had learnt to be less severe with myself and with others too. This being a consequence of my own downfalls  I cannot say I was prepared for what I was about to hear, but like always I took it in my stride.
Then the story began to unfold , her life had taken a swith unexpected turn. The windows of her soul reflected a deep clear turmoil. She tried so desperately to bring every discordant feeling to place but couldn't. I too couldn't in any possible way help my friend make sense of this turn.

You see for ages my friend had revelled in the fantasy that she was way above human failing , it was almost as if the walls around her could keep her benevolence from decay ......but then this happened and it happened to her. She sat across from me with tears streaming down her sweet face, you see for the first time in all of her life my dearest friend realised that she too was just as human as the rest of us.

Phoebe

https://youtu.be/xID_t--BrqE